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The 7 Most Disappointing Email Greetings
A software engineer’s guide to interpreting HR positivity.
“Happy Monday!”
Mondays are seldom happy, especially if you’ve just received HR doctrine headed “Happy Monday!”
Besides, I always think of this instead.
Delete.
“Happy Tuesday!”
A nowhere day populated by planning meetings, banal retrospectives, and boring 1–1 catch-ups.
Tentative, reluctantly.
“Happy Wednesday!”
Seriously? It’s just half way.
Delete.
“Happy Thursday!”
An invite to some awful after hours ‘wellbeing’ work event that I’d definitely prefer to avoid. Always on a Thursday, so you don’t drink too much because of work on Friday.
Decline.
“Happy Friday!”
A very tired phrase, just like “flares are coming back in” or “agile is effective”.
Delete.
“Happy Saturday!”
Why are HR mailing me on a Saturday?
I was happy.
Happy Sunday
I’m too full of angst thinking about work on Monday to even deconstruct it.
