Watt’s On The Menu?

Dr Stuart Woolley
5 min readOct 30, 2023

The real problem with Electric Vehicles isn’t range anxiety, it’s what you do with yourself while you’re waiting for a charge…

“Image generated using OpenAI’s DALL·E.”

The subject of electric vehicles (henceforth, EVs) is an extremely polarising¹ one, usually exemplified by the shockingly¹ angry comments following pretty much every article I’ve ever read that presents an opinion about them.

In fact, I’ve written about them myself several times already myself— pointing out primarily that replacing cars with even more cars isn’t a great move that addresses the current¹ problem with traffic congestion — i.e. we’ll still have to deal with all of the traffic, accidents, and plethora of roads taking over valuable real estate that should be devoted to homes, pedestrians, and controversially (apparently) even cyclists.

So, if we leave aside the divisive arguments about range anxiety, especially the negative¹ ones about having to plan journeys ahead of time, and even the laughable and hugely expensive (profiteering) public charging infrastructure I’m really surprised that no-one’s been mentioning what I’ve come to realise is the actual biggest problem.

And that problem is the humble doughnut.

No, that’s not code for something, or some bizarre electrical engineering term, I’m genuinely referring to those often [ cream | jam | custard ] filled fried dough balls that seem to be taking over the world, one snack shop at a time.

You see, until someone comes up with an EV battery that charges as quickly as it takes to fill a conventional fuel tank² with various noxious oil derived products, and when we’re unlucky enough to have to use the dire and overpriced public charging infrastructure, we will all be left standing around wondering what to do with ourselves for that period of time whilst our car is slowly sucking up the kWh.

There’s coffee, of course, but as you full well know how can you just have a coffee if there’s a doughnut looking wistfully at you from behind a chilled glass counter or peeking out temptingly from a brightly coloured box of four all sitting snugly together on an inviting and welcomingly coloured shelf?

Well, that and being constantly amped¹ up on coffee isn’t great for the blood pressure or the resulting road rage either, and often leaves the

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Dr Stuart Woolley

Worries about the future. Way too involved with software. Likes coffee, maths, and . Would prefer to be in academia. SpaceX, Twitter, and Overwatch fan.